i need AI to tell me how to make fried chicken because i’m too stupid to read a recipe, and did i also tell you at some point that i have a masters degree in chemical engineering and i create new flavor sensations for nabisco? keep it a secret.
don’t tell anyone what i’m about to reveal in this post, but teddy grahams are about to make a comeback and unleash some wild flavors like cinnamon/vanilla/sriracha. you may scoff at that combo and think to yourself ‘that doesn’t work’ but we tested it out on starving children in the Philippines and they all loved it. we’re infusing them with protein, 28g per serving and this is with less than 200 calories. don’t ask me how we did that because i signed an NDA.
who cares about athletics?
i never heard of the ‘soccer age’ because no sport has ever moved our species forward. i’m definitely over here in 2026 celebrating ty cobb; without that dude i wouldn’t have electricity in my house so i can watch MLB games. the only reason anyone knows the name ‘ty cobb’ is because his baseball card was worth so much. that’s our priority beyond athletics. how much does this athlete make per year?
what’s your net worth???
americans love sports so much because we devalue intellect and anything that makes us human. we even frame intellect as pretentious, like all those depictions of impenetrable silent french films and classical compositions that take a mountain of education to understand, even though both are always rooted in universal, human emotions.