They’ll die of diabetes together. How romantic!

Party on, Ted! No, wait, that sounds wrong.

Yes. Yes, they did.

Hey, do you know Jenny too?!

Imagine having to think of a new 6-digit number every few seconds!

Inconceivable!

At least I use bash!

alias more=less

The more Gs, the better the cell service. Mine is 5G.

Heat level: “fire-extinguisher hot”.

Then you are the “lesser being”!

Rubbish! No-one is discriminating against vampires.

So even though Santa doesn’t live at OUR north pole…

Wait, what?!

Out of real witches???

It’s a little bit frightening.

And don’t feed it after midnight!

Boo!

People making tiny inconveniences for themselves instead of imposing them on everyone else is the essence of civilization.

It’s crazy how jealous the US and the UK are of each other’s system.

Pictured: pika chew.