She’s apparently never heard of earbuds either

I prefer spinach that I’ve sautéed with a bit of garlic and some olive oil.

Ah, the ol’ David Carradine

I would’ve also accepted “absurdly bright headlights”

I’ve heard the phrase “pavement princess” used for such vehicles

I think Maude Lebowski was a better painter

So if someone can ID middle left and bottom right, we’ll have the whole set

I recognize Mean Girls in the top left, but I have no clue on the others.

I can read the numbers just fine but I can’t read any of the names. Weird.

SOH CAH TOA in trigonometry

Thanks I hate it

Fuck. That. Noise.

Sounds like the less disgusting cousin of mountain oysters

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

• regular vigorous exercise - I do this five or six days per week
• no caffeine after about 2 pm
• mostly consistent bedtime
• heating pad, for nights when my lower back is stiff or sore
• white noise in the form of a fan (though I’m going to need something more powerful, as my neighbor has started the lovely habit of watching tv at 330am with no headphones)
• on nights when I’m really having trouble, I have a small stash of chewable 5mg melatonin tablets on my nightstand

Just like Laszlo Cravensworth!

When I was in middle school, on an organized camping trip to a lake where we would work on our canoeing skills, another kid and I started to horseplay. We were struggling over who could take a specific canoe paddle. My opponent held the handle, and I the blade. We each tried using the paddle to shove at the other & cause them to lose control, thereby securing the paddle for our own exclusive use.

Nevermind that there were a dozen other equally good paddles laying around unclaimed, we had to fight over that specific paddle.

I wound up losing my grip right as my opponent shoved. The blade hit me square on the bridge of my nose. I bled like crazy.

It wasn’t until several years afterwards that I realized how perilously close I had come to losing one or both eyes.

“Jared from Subway is such an inspiration!”

Not sure if that’s better, worse, or equally mediocre compared to Laszlo Cravensworth turning into Jackie Daytona with a simple toothpick.

I’m imagining a Beverly Hillbillies-style listing of synonyms.

Booger sugar

Nose beer

Bolivian rocket fuel