Hey experts, hoping someone here has insight or experience to share.
We have a dog who’s generally well-trained and listens to commands. With me, he’s calm, respectful, and almost never crosses boundaries. The dog is about 10 months old, so we don’t expect every command to be perfect, of course.
But with other family members, it’s a different story. He can get rough, jumps on them, snaps at their hands (even when they’re disengaging), and seems to treat them more like playmates than people to respect. Am afraid someone will eventually get hurt.
This behavior often kicks in when a family member picks up his ball or engages with him in a way he perceives as play. Sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. The dog clearly doesn’t mean bad and isn’t aggressive, but he underestimates his strength. We’ve tried consistent training across the board, and everyone uses the same commands and techniques. Walks help a bit, he’s more controlled outside/on a leash, but the issue persists indoors or in the yard.
Has anyone dealt with a dog who respects one person but gets too rough with others? Is this a leadership/boundary issue, or something else? Any advice on how to help our dog treat all family members with the same respect he shows me?
Thanks in advance for any ideas!
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This is pretty standard puppy behaviour. The issue is usually consistency. You clearly do the same reaction to their behaviours each time so the dog has learned what you expect.
Your family probably doesn’t do the same thing each time or they react in fun ways, like squealing and running away when the dog jumps up. The easy way to resolve this is to train your family, we used a technique called " boring human". So when the dog does something you don’t want, rough play, jumping up etc you do “boring human” where you just stand up and don’t talk or engage with the dog until it does a behaviour you want to reward usually something like sit. Then you can continue the activity. The important thing is to not engage at all, don’t shout or flail as those can be fun and interesting, until the dog does the right behaviour.
This is pretty standard puppy behaviour. The issue is usually consistency. You clearly do the same reaction to their behaviours each time so the dog has learned what you expect.
precisely. It’s also a puppy, and puppies are going to want to play. It’s important to burn off energy in ways that are acceptable, otherwise they’ll find ways that aren’t.
Very true. Also useful to recognise when the pup is over tired and needs some down time. My pup would get very bitey when they were ready for a nap, too stubborn to realise that though so we had to enforce nap time as he wouldn’t take himself to bed. Bit like a grumpy toddler really.
And like toddlers… they need some structure, lol. that’s a really good metaphore.
Edit: lol, we did turkey-day on saturday this year, and my brother’s pup got very worn out after a long day of sledding/tubbing and walking up hills. she doesn’t get bitey, though. she gets very snuggly and when you don’t snuggle up with her, she gets pouty.
Great advice.
We try that, it’s just that he hurts family (scratches, bites) while they wait for him to notice that this isn’t fun. So that becomes a bit problematic and sits at the core of our problem.
We also try to burn off energy in other ways, thinking that maybe he needs that. He definitely gets enough attention.
he hurts family (scratches, bites)
well that is unacceptable and it is your job to interrupt the behaviour and tell the dog it is time for timeout. it is important that the dog is not rewarded for the unwanted behaviour. if a ball game or whatever follows, he will learn that this behaviour led to fun times and it will repeat it.
Something to try if they hurt you is to make a really high pitched yip then do boring human as that’s what their litter mates would do if one hurt another.
It communicates they cause pain then by not rewarding them until they are doing a good behaviour you train that one rather than rewarding the bad behaviour.
Children especially are very exciting if they squeal and run away if a puppy nips them in play.
Edit: exercise is also super important, someone suggested a fly line which are great for puppies. 5-10 minutes and they will be knackered. Longer walks and more brain engagement play like sniffing can also help with energy levels.
Something to try if they hurt you is to make a really high pitched yip
Children especially are very exciting if they squeal and run away
so which is it, do high pitched noises or don’t?
guess what, the dog does know you are not its littermate. so stop doing crazy sounds and instead just calmly tell the dog no and send it to its place to take timeout, or redirect his attention to some behaviour you want from him.
Good advice. Haven’t tried that yet. Will definitely give that a go.
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Dogs have a simple and happy life: in the family, they always are at the bottom of the hierarchy; all other animals in the pack are above them. Dogs in puberty do not always realize this, your dog sees your family members as being on the same or a lower level. As the leader of the pack, you have to make clear that his place is on the lowest level. Not with violence (it’s always better to reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior) - and where necessary prohibit the dog eg to bite. Your family members must be trained as well: they shouldn’t play with the dog, instead they should ignore him, they are not his toy or playmates, but his bosses.
This is our situation at home between my spouse (the one who the dog listens to and adores) and myself (the one who’s the playmate/chew toy he won’t disengage from). Our dog is a little over a year old now, and this was a much bigger problem a few months ago. Part of it is age for sure. The other part is your dog’s breed and temperament — he might just need more stimulation, which can be a huge pain if you’re working, it’s dark outside, etc.
I suggest a flirt pole to try and tire him out. Plenty of videos out there on technique and such, but it’s basically working on a couple commands and running/agility really intensely for maybe 10-15 minutes and he’ll get good and tired, mentally and physically. Have other members of the family work with him too. Just make sure you get the “drop it” part down so the lure doesn’t fly back into your face (some experience speaking here lol). Good luck! The puppy phase is a challenging time for sure.
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The wide open web is going to net you old, bad advice or people literally recommending you a psycho like Cesar Milan.
Find a local dog trainer with a positive reinforcement philosophy
Watch the dog whisperer tv show if you can find it. Caesar explains all these behaviors and how to fix them.
